bmaxprice.wordpress.com

HELLO,

I am Max Price, PhD.   I live in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma and am a Health Service Psychologist, writer and consultant.

I am excited about sharing some of my writings about stepfamilies, child psychology/play therapy and children’s

religious education.

“AN OUNCE OF PREVENTION IS WORTH A POUND OF TREATMENT.”

 

Advertisements

A TWELVE YEAR-OLD STEP CHILD GIVES ADVICE TO STEP PARENTS

 

We’ll call her Sara Jane. She shared her story with her counselor.  These are some of the points she would like for you to know about being a stepchild:

Parents and stepparents should avoid badmouthing each other to the child. It hurts the child because he/she is biologically related to both parents.

Parents and stepparents should avoid putting the child in the middle. The child has divided loyalties and, therefore, feels guilty and stress.

The biological parent needs to be the primary disciplinarian with the child.  It is hard for a child to build a relationship with a stepparent when that person is telling him.her what to do and how to do it.

The stepparent needs to establish a positive relationship with the child—-it takes time.  It is good for a child to feel that the stepparent supports and encourages him or her and genuinely likes him or her.

Parents and stepparents need to establish healthy boundaries and rules within their own families. Knowing the rules and boundaries helps the child feel safe in their environment.

Seek counseling if troubles arise.

You can read Sara Jane’s story in her chapter from my book BLENDING FAMILIES—The Honeymoon Comes Later.

*****************************************************************************************************************

You can purchase my book from:

1. Tate Publishing http://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/        Toll free number 888-3619473

2. Or the author: B. Max Price, PhD  5704 N.W. 110th Street, Oklahoma City, OK 73162 m6260@flash.net.      Send payment of $15. for autographed copy and your mailing address (postage incluced)

The Role of a STEP GRANDPARENT

Charlotte has five grandchildren and three step grandchildren.  She says, “It seems to me that the most important things we do for the grandchildren are:

To be present to them.

show up.

create a safe place.

listen more than speak.

make memories.

and be thoughtful of their parents.

GRANDLOVING is how Charlotte thinks of her role as a grandparent. She shares good advice for step grandparents in her chapter of my book BLENDING FAMILIES–The Honeymoon Comes Later.

You can purchase my book from:

Tate Publishing http://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/       toll free 888-361-9473

Or the author:  B. Max Price, PhD  5704 N.W 110th Street, Oklahoma City, OK 73162           m6260@flash.net     Send payment of $15. for autographed copy and your mailing address.                       (postage no charge)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

STEPMOM, STEPDAD—WHAT DO YOU EXPECT????

Your expectations of your marriage and your relationship with your stepchildren are greatly influenced by your past history and your present assumptions about your role as a stepparent.  The children’s expectations of you are based on their own experiences.

Consider what are my roles as a stepmother?  as a stepfather? Do you expect your role to be one of these?  Rescuer?  Replacement parent? Fixer? Boss? Friend? A Backup? Provider? Loving spouse and caregiver? I recommend you and your spouse make the effort to:

1.WRITE YOUR EXPECTATIONS. 2.SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS WITH YOUR SPOUSE. 3.IDENTIFY AREAS OF AGREEMENT AND DIFFERENCES. 4. SEEK A MUTUAL AGREEMENT FOR NOW. 5.PUT YOUR AGREEMENTS IN WRITING because you may have differing memories a week later. 6. ADDRESS AND DISCUSS ANY CONCERNS AS THEY HAPPEN.

My suggestions for your writing your role expectations:

Write some specific roles you expect of yourself as a stepparent. _____________________________________________________________________________________

Ask your spouse what he/she expects of you.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Your expectations of your stepchild(ren).

_____________________________________________________________________________________

You and your spouse’s opinion of what your stepchild expects of you.

______________________________________________________________________________________

Now ask your spouse to do the same.  What are some specific roles your spouse expects of himself/herself.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

What roles your expect of your spouse

______________________________________________________________________________________

Much conflict can be avoided when the two of you share your expectations and work on agreements.

The above Post is from the chapter TEN GUIDELINES FOR STEPPARENTS  in my book BLENDING FAMILIES–The Honeymoon Comes Later.

You can purchase this book from:

1. Tate Publishing http://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/   toll free 888-361-9473

2. Or the Author—B. Max Price, PhD 5704 N.W. 110th St., Oklahoma City,OK73162

m6260@flash.net. Send payment of $15 for autographed copy (postage included) and your mailing address.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

GEMS FOR STEPFAMILIES: Are you ready to move from Step-dating to Step-Parenting???

Seriously consider before committing to being the OTHER MOM in a relationship. A stepfamily begins due to a loss or absence of a parent.  Becoming a stepmom is a serious matter. The time to earnestly consider commitment is before it is legal or final.

QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER:                                                                                                                                Am I ready to be, and probably remain, number two?

      Can I be the third wheel at school events, parent conferences, Mother’s Day or other holidays?

      Can I put the children first, not to the exclusion of my marriage, but for the needs of our child?

If you can’t say yes to such questions,  I suggest spending more time step-dating, seeing a marriage counselor or deciding if a stepfamily is for you.  Sometimes women do not consider such questions or they think, “I’ll change all this after I get married,” or “He’ll like me better when we are married.”  This is magical thinking if you believe things will get better because of marriage.

Lori shares her personal journey of Step-parenting in the chapter “The Other Mom” in my book BLENDING FAMILIES–The Honeymoon Comes Later.  Max Price, PhD

You can purchase this book from:

1. Tate Publishing. http://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/ toll free 888-361-9473

2. Or the Author: B. Max Price, PhD, 5704 N.W 110th St., Oklahoma City OK 73162. m6260@flash.net

Send payment of $15. for autographed copy (postage included) and your mailing address.

 


M

GEMS FOR STEPFAMILIES

HOW TO MAKE STEP-FAMILIES WORK

STEP-DATING

Lori realized early in her step-dating that she would always be “the other mom.”

“My dad and I want you to come over for dinner on Wednesday.  I accepted the dinner

invitation. The visit was delightful with six-year-old Alex sharing his room, toys, pets,

and collections with me, just like a school ‘show and tell.’ This dinner began a long

courtship with a wonderful father and his child and began to lay the foundation of our

future step-family.  Alex’s mom was active in his life and lived close by.  I was ever so

aware of her strong bond and special relationship with him.  I was extremely respectful of

her role in his life.  I understood that respecting and accepting his biological mom was

important in his life and our future family.”

Using what she learned from step-dating, respect for Alex’s mother and staying away

from volatile situations, Lori instinctively followed some rules that she deemed helpful

for everyone involved.

Rule # 3.  Never talk about or criticize the biological parent. Children are extremely loyal.

Criticizing their parent even if it is the truth to you, will not gain influence with the child

and sometimes with the parent.  Putting down the parent is a passive attempt to make

yourself feel better.  But a child’s dedication to his parents will not be broken, and having

to defend their loyalty creates tension, anger and resentment.  While step-dating, if there is

a matter that you feel needs attention, do not discuss the situation in front of the child.

Save your discussions of conflict and concerns for times when you are alone with the

biological parent.  You may find there is a logical explanation and sometimes there may

be a way to make the situation better, and most times, it’s just the way it is!

Lori shares her personal journey of being the other mom in my book BLENDING FAMILIES

The Honeymoon Comes Later.           Max Price

You can purchase the book from:

1.Tate Publishing  http://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/ toll free 888-361-9473

2. or the author–B. Max Price, PhD,  5704 N.W. 110th St. Oklahoma City OK 73162. Send payment of $15. for autographed copy (postage included)  and mailing address.  m6260@flash.net