STEPMOM, STEPDAD—WHAT DO YOU EXPECT????

Your expectations of your marriage and your relationship with your stepchildren are greatly influenced by your past history and your present assumptions about your role as a stepparent.  The children’s expectations of you are based on their own experiences.

Consider what are my roles as a stepmother?  as a stepfather? Do you expect your role to be one of these?  Rescuer?  Replacement parent? Fixer? Boss? Friend? A Backup? Provider? Loving spouse and caregiver? I recommend you and your spouse make the effort to:

1.WRITE YOUR EXPECTATIONS. 2.SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS WITH YOUR SPOUSE. 3.IDENTIFY AREAS OF AGREEMENT AND DIFFERENCES. 4. SEEK A MUTUAL AGREEMENT FOR NOW. 5.PUT YOUR AGREEMENTS IN WRITING because you may have differing memories a week later. 6. ADDRESS AND DISCUSS ANY CONCERNS AS THEY HAPPEN.

My suggestions for your writing your role expectations:

Write some specific roles you expect of yourself as a stepparent. _____________________________________________________________________________________

Ask your spouse what he/she expects of you.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Your expectations of your stepchild(ren).

_____________________________________________________________________________________

You and your spouse’s opinion of what your stepchild expects of you.

______________________________________________________________________________________

Now ask your spouse to do the same.  What are some specific roles your spouse expects of himself/herself.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

What roles your expect of your spouse

______________________________________________________________________________________

Much conflict can be avoided when the two of you share your expectations and work on agreements.

The above Post is from the chapter TEN GUIDELINES FOR STEPPARENTS  in my book BLENDING FAMILIES–The Honeymoon Comes Later.

You can purchase this book from:

1. Tate Publishing http://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/   toll free 888-361-9473

2. Or the Author—B. Max Price, PhD 5704 N.W. 110th St., Oklahoma City,OK73162

m6260@flash.net. Send payment of $15 for autographed copy (postage included) and your mailing address.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

GEMS FOR STEPFAMILIES: Are you ready to move from Step-dating to Step-Parenting???

Seriously consider before committing to being the OTHER MOM in a relationship. A stepfamily begins due to a loss or absence of a parent.  Becoming a stepmom is a serious matter. The time to earnestly consider commitment is before it is legal or final.

QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER:                                                                                                                                Am I ready to be, and probably remain, number two?

      Can I be the third wheel at school events, parent conferences, Mother’s Day or other holidays?

      Can I put the children first, not to the exclusion of my marriage, but for the needs of our child?

If you can’t say yes to such questions,  I suggest spending more time step-dating, seeing a marriage counselor or deciding if a stepfamily is for you.  Sometimes women do not consider such questions or they think, “I’ll change all this after I get married,” or “He’ll like me better when we are married.”  This is magical thinking if you believe things will get better because of marriage.

Lori shares her personal journey of Step-parenting in the chapter “The Other Mom” in my book BLENDING FAMILIES–The Honeymoon Comes Later.  Max Price, PhD

You can purchase this book from:

1. Tate Publishing. http://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/ toll free 888-361-9473

2. Or the Author: B. Max Price, PhD, 5704 N.W 110th St., Oklahoma City OK 73162. m6260@flash.net

Send payment of $15. for autographed copy (postage included) and your mailing address.

 


M