Your expectations of your marriage and your relationship with your stepchildren are greatly influenced by your past history and your present assumptions about your role as a stepparent. The children’s expectations of you are based on their own experiences.
Consider what are my roles as a stepmother? as a stepfather? Do you expect your role to be one of these? Rescuer? Replacement parent? Fixer? Boss? Friend? A Backup? Provider? Loving spouse and caregiver? I recommend you and your spouse make the effort to:
1.WRITE YOUR EXPECTATIONS. 2.SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS WITH YOUR SPOUSE. 3.IDENTIFY AREAS OF AGREEMENT AND DIFFERENCES. 4. SEEK A MUTUAL AGREEMENT FOR NOW. 5.PUT YOUR AGREEMENTS IN WRITING because you may have differing memories a week later. 6. ADDRESS AND DISCUSS ANY CONCERNS AS THEY HAPPEN.
My suggestions for your writing your role expectations:
Write some specific roles you expect of yourself as a stepparent. _____________________________________________________________________________________
Ask your spouse what he/she expects of you.
Your expectations of your stepchild(ren).
You and your spouse’s opinion of what your stepchild expects of you.
Now ask your spouse to do the same. What are some specific roles your spouse expects of himself/herself.
What roles your expect of your spouse
Much conflict can be avoided when the two of you share your expectations and work on agreements.
The above Post is from the chapter TEN GUIDELINES FOR STEPPARENTS in my book BLENDING FAMILIES–The Honeymoon Comes Later.
You can purchase this book from:
1. Tate Publishing http://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/ toll free 888-361-9473
2. Or the Author—B. Max Price, PhD 5704 N.W. 110th St., Oklahoma City,OK73162
firstname.lastname@example.org. Send payment of $15 for autographed copy (postage included) and your mailing address.