A TWELVE YEAR-OLD STEP CHILD GIVES ADVICE TO STEP PARENTS

 

We’ll call her Sara Jane. She shared her story with her counselor.  These are some of the points she would like for you to know about being a stepchild:

Parents and stepparents should avoid badmouthing each other to the child. It hurts the child because he/she is biologically related to both parents.

Parents and stepparents should avoid putting the child in the middle. The child has divided loyalties and, therefore, feels guilty and stress.

The biological parent needs to be the primary disciplinarian with the child.  It is hard for a child to build a relationship with a stepparent when that person is telling him.her what to do and how to do it.

The stepparent needs to establish a positive relationship with the child—-it takes time.  It is good for a child to feel that the stepparent supports and encourages him or her and genuinely likes him or her.

Parents and stepparents need to establish healthy boundaries and rules within their own families. Knowing the rules and boundaries helps the child feel safe in their environment.

Seek counseling if troubles arise.

You can read Sara Jane’s story in her chapter from my book BLENDING FAMILIES—The Honeymoon Comes Later.

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You can purchase my book from:

1. Tate Publishing http://www.tatepublishing.com/bookstore/        Toll free number 888-3619473

2. Or the author: B. Max Price, PhD  5704 N.W. 110th Street, Oklahoma City, OK 73162 m6260@flash.net.      Send payment of $15. for autographed copy and your mailing address (postage incluced)

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